1
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There's always that thing,
isn't there, of families?

2
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There are bonds that are very
strong,

3
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and loyalties and all those things

4
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that hold the family together.

5
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And they're usually balanced by...

6
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pain and misery and...

7
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um...

8
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I mean, I really haven't
got time to go into it -

9
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it would take all day.

10
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How do you get on with your...um...

11
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brothers and sisters and mum and
dad?

12
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I don't get on
with my sister very well.

13
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I don't get on
with my brother very well.

14
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And I don't get on with mine at all.

15
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But I get on with them all the time.

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I sometimes get on
with my mum and dad.

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They sometimes get really GRUMPY!

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(ALL LAUGH)

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Introduce yourselves first of all.

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I'm Brian.
And I'm Keith.

21
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We're brothers.
Brothers, man. By blood.

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Not by just the name.

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(LAUGHS)

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As brothers go, he's cool.

25
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He has his..

26
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has his unique ways, let's say...

27
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you know...as everybody does.

28
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Your family make you feel like
it's a rollercoaster of emotion.

29
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Some things are
really joyous moments,

30
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and others are fraught with, er...

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fraught with...

32
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desperation.

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It's the rollercoaster ride
of life, isn't it, really?

34
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That end,

35
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my wife and my daughter and I live.

36
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Monica's got two children as well.

37
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But hers live...

38
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One at home and one in Reading.
I got a son in Reading.

39
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How did you feel when he left?

40
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Well, he left the nest
and didn't come back, really.

41
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Is that one of yours as well?
Yes.

42
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(CHUCKLES)

43
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I've got...

44
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three children -

45
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two girls and a boy.

46
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And then I've got a boy and girl
which are twins. And then...

47
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I've got twin girls,

48
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and they've got...

49
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Three. Four each.

50
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Four children each,

51
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so I've got eight grandchildren
from my daughters.

52
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And at the minute

53
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I've got three grandsons

54
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and I'm hoping for a granddaughter,

55
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soon, I hope!

56
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(LAUGHS)

57
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Well, he's got five
and I've actually got...

58
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Here, I've got Jasmine...

59
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I've got Kay and Charlotte and Matt.

60
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And I have another three in Swindon.

61
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So I've got Jay, Jerome and Jessica

62
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in Swindon.

63
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So I've got seven.

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Seven meals to get out...

65
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plus our own...

66
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plus our travel
backwards and forwards

67
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in between both.

68
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In the morning...

69
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it is sunny.

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Yeah.

71
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When I stand on my brother's toe,

72
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by accident,

73
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he tries to hit me in the head,
on purpose.

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Like this!

75
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Oooh!
(CHUCKLES)

76
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(CHUCKLES)

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I normally give my little lad
a punch,

78
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and I give my daughter a hug.

79
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And that's it, really.

80
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I'm a Geordie
and I'm rough and ready.

81
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And they normally
give us a bit of a punch back

82
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or a bit of a squeeze,
sort of thing.

83
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And it's just great to see them.

84
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Well, my eldest daughter

85
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will be 68 this year.

86
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Will she? She'll be -

87
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And she is... beautiful.

88
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Is she?
Still beautiful.

89
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Oh, good. Yeah. Well, every child
is beautiful to their mother.

90
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Oh, no. I've got three. I wouldn't
say they're all beautiful.

91
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Oh.

92
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You can't tell what
your children will look like

93
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when they're inside there, can you?

94
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(MUM SNORES)
I mean, what's gonna come out?

95
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Well, you know there's gonna be

96
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a bit of you and a bit of her,

97
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and you hope that what comes out

98
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is gonna be the best bits of you
and the best bits of her.

99
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And if they could only come out

100
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showing the best bits of both of you

101
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then they'd be better than you,
wouldn't they?

102
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That's it, we want our children
to be better than we are now.

103
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So how many chicks have you hatched,
then, do you think, over the years?

104
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Hundreds and hundreds.

105
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Hundreds, haven't we?
Mmm.

106
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But they must be so tiny.

107
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It's amazing -
Well, no, that's huge.

108
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I was so surprised. Yes.
I mean, the egg was about...so.

109
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Mmm.
It came out...

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huge.

111
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You just collect them, don't you?

112
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Once you start, yes, more appears,
and...

113
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the more and more you get. (LAUGHS)

114
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When the baby was born,

115
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I looked at the baby,

116
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and it was all wrinkly

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and old-looking.

118
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And I said, "Ooh,

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what is that?"

120
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My son's diabetic.

121
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He gets highs and lows,

122
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and one day he was really
depressed with his diabetes.

123
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He kept asking me and the wife,

124
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"How come I'm diabetic
and me sister's not?"

125
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So I tried to cheer him up. I says,
"I'll swap you any time you want.

126
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I'll have your diabetes and
you can have my Geordie accent."

127
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He said:
"No, I'd rather be diabetic."

128
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I said, "You're joking, aren't you?"

129
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It's great, ain't it - great?

130
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He's very intelligent. He knows
everything you're telling him.

131
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That's what I like mostly about him.

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You can tell him to go to his bowl.

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And he'll go.

134
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And he'll pick out...

135
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a treat himself...

136
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and he'll wander off
and he'll eat it.

137
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And whatever you tell him,

138
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he'll understand,

139
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sometimes better than a human.

140
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And he never ever
does it on the pavement.

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(COUGHS)

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Aw, cough it up.

143
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Twinkle, little star.

144
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Yeah, you know that song, do you?

145
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Baa-baa, black sheep.

146
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What's the other one?
Twinkle, little what?

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148
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What's that big thing in the s-

149
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three bags full

150
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151
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That's it, you can't shut her up
once she gets going.

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153
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They just show that they love you.

154
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It's like all of them, isn't it?

155
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They've all got characters
and they all show

156
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that they rely on you
to look after them.

157
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I only gotta say, "Come on -
bedtime," and they'll follow me.

158
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They go for walks.
Yes. Round the fields. Walk.

159
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They just follow me.

160
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I've been very lucky

161
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to have children.

162
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Well, so many.

163
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Two husbands, you've had,
haven't you? Or three?

164
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Four children.

165
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How many husbands?
That's not the point.

166
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Nobody asks me how many husbands.

167
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And you will bring that up.
Which is very wrong.

168
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Are all the children to one husband?

169
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That's a subject that is private.

170
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Ah.

171
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AWKWARD SILENCE

172
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I've only had two.

173
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Oh, you've had two.
Well, I've only -

174
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Children.

175
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Oh. I thought you said husbands.

176
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No, no.

177
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Hmm.

178
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I couldn't have a better dad.

179
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I couldn't look up to anybody.

180
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I couldn't see anybody

181
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telling me how to live my life

182
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any better than the way my dad did.

183
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And I hope I can be just as good
to my own children.

184
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I try, but I don't think I could be.

185
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I don't think anybody could be
as good as my dad.

186
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No, my dad's my hero,

187
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without a doubt. Definitely.

188
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That's it?
Yeah.

189
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Thanks a lot, love.
Right-io.

190
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No problem. Not at all.

191
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Mummy?
Yeah?

192
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ICE CREAM VAN JINGLE

193
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He's gone.
The Okey Man.

194
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"Can I have an ice cream?"

195
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Mum?
Yeah?

196
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I want an ice cream.
Do you?

197
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Yes.

198
00:08:07,960 --> 00:08:10,960
I want the one

199
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we always get from the ice cream
man.

200
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What, a 99, you mean?
Yes!

201
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With a Flake?

202
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Come on, we'll perhaps
manage one of those.

203
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A rainbow one?

204
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No.
No, you don't want that?

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